Thursday Offering from Fr Marcus 18th March 2021
Instead of saying ‘Lord, I don’t know how I am going to do this’, say
‘Lord, I can’t wait to see how You are going to do this!’
My Dear Friends,
As we approach the final 2 parts of our walk towards Inner Peace we have a few more issues to look at, and once again they come with a health warning. None of this is simple, quick or easy. Some folk are struggling with these for years, and for some there genuinely seems to be no way out.
Over the final two offerings I want to begin thinking about Fears and phobias, Addictions, The actual consequences of other people’s actions like physical, sexual emotional and spiritual abuse. I will also begin to look at and explore the need, where appropriate, for Reconciliation. So this is going to be tough.
My starting point for this section is to acknowledge that some nice Bible quotes alone will not fix this, nor will the assumption that other people can make it alright. We are at the stage where we need to embrace the relevant issues, and for some people this will mean seeking professional help through trained and qualified counsellors or spiritual enablers.
Talking therapies can work wonders, and the biggest step often is the one you make when you seek help.
I am not a trained Counsellor, but I am a priest of 40 years of experience, and I am always happy to listen and to chat if you ever think that would help. Or I can point you in the direction of others.
Having said that, our faith and our relationship with God can make all the difference, and we do well to explore what happens to our issues when we take it to the Lord in prayer.
We will never find Bliss and Inner Peace all the times our minds are full of fears and phobias, so let’s begin with them. It seems strange to mix them together, as fears can be based on something real and specific, but phobias may be irrational or they may grow out of all proportion.
I heard a quote once about fear which seemed really simple, but it leads to difficult actions. But I will explore it anyway.
Check out the fearful / stressful / worrying situation and ask yourself
Can I do anything about it?
If the answer is Yes, then at least you can at least have a plan. If the answer is No, then what is the point of continuing to worry.
This sounds simple, but the ‘Plan’ may include major changes.
Interestingly the bible has over 365 quotes along the lines of ‘Do not be afraid’ many accompanied by ‘For I am with you.’ It is as if every day we are reminded that we are not alone, and that we can trust in the God who is with us.
That does not mean we just leave our issues up to Him to fix, but rather, His ways are true and will lead us to peace.
Sometimes our fears are based on worldly anxieties. What do people think of me? What if I am not good enough? What if I don’t fit in? The answer to these is that God knows the secrets of our hearts, and if he loves us, then do we need to be worried if others don’t?
Sometimes our fears are based on issues to do with safety. Is this a dangerous place? Is that person going to do me harm? Am I likely to get hurt? The answer to these is to change the situation somehow. Which of course may be easier said than done, but at least in your mind the problem is identifiable and may be specific.
But phobias are different. I really can’t handle heights, and absolutely freeze when I feel that I am up high and close to a sheer drop. But often my friends will tell me, and show, me that the drop is not sheer, or near, and that the path is safe, and they take my hand and get me across. Once I have done it, I know it is possible, and I can do it again even though I am still scared. It is the taking me by the hand that makes such a difference, and here is where faith comes in. I trust the person whose hand I hold, and I can feel them with me.
So, in any situation can I trust in God, and feel him with me?
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters
he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of death
I fear no evil;
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff—
they comfort me.
There is a process which we move through from ‘It is scary and I can’t go on’ to ‘It is scary, and I don’t like it, but if fact it is safer then I think, so with a little help from my friends I can get through this.
So where possible it is good to ask for help.
Sometimes I need to stop and control my breathing, and look around to check out the reality rather than my phobic perception. It Feels like I am right by the edge of a great precipice but in reality the slope is more gentle and the path is wide, but until I stop and gather myself and look properly I can’t see that. This is the case with so many situations that we are fearful of.
I would like to move on to addiction, and again I need to stress that this letter is not going to fix any problems you may have, but it can be a nudge to point you down a particular path.
There are many experts in this field, and I am certainly not one of them, but I can put you in touch with help if you need it. And asking for help is the biggest and hardest step.
For the sake of this mail I have simply copied the outline of the twelve step programme which relates to alcohol just as an example. There are of course others, but this is a great place to start.
‘The heart of the suggested programme of personal recovery is contained in Twelve Steps describing the experience of the earliest members of the Society:1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Newcomers are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.’
https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
At the heart of this is the acknowledgement that for some things we cannot do it alone. We are helped so much by an acceptance of a Higher Power, and to turn our wills over to that power, and the need to admit our issues to ourselves, to that power, and to another human being the things that need to change.
“The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armour of light.”
The best is yet to come.
Next week we will conclude by exploring the consequences of other people’s actions, and the question of reconciliation.
In the meantime I close with our Lenten introduction to The Peace:
Since we are justified by faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has given us access to his grace.
The Peace of the Lord be always with you.
Bless you, Bless you, Bless you,
As ever,
Fr Marcus